Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Field Hockey is not a “hot girl” sport…

On my way to work everyday, I drive past a college campus. Every summer they hold what looks to be a field hockey camp. There are fifty to sixty college age girls running around in shorts and tight shirts. And I am not attracted to a single one. See, I’m not a perv.

“Why aren't you attracted?” you may ask. You may also ask "Why do I care?"

My answer: they play field hockey. And when I say they play field hockey, I mean that they are not hot.

Field hockey is not a “hot girl” sport. I have yet to see a female that plays field hockey that’s not built like a brick shithouse.

There are no female linebackers in the NFL. They’re all playing field hockey.

Oh, and that mouth guard? Not helping anyone, ladies…

...and the skirt does not compensate. Thelma Thunderthighs is not at the top of my ‘gawk at’ list.

Oh, for those who would argue, I offer this. There are some, SOME girls who are not butt ugly, but I would not categorize them as “hot”. They are “cute”.

I mean, for every one of these:

(Cute, right? But not “hot”.)

There are three of these:

No offense to these three, um, girls, but they’re not on the “hot” list, am I right?
Did I just say, “No offense”? That might be the most offensive thing you can say to a person: “Oh, guess what, you’re ugly.”

Well, I’ve done my job for the day. I’ve made three more people insecure about themselves.
Of course, almost right after writing this, I came across the following:

And I apologize.

Hugs and handjobs, kids.



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