I was late for work today…

I was late for work today.

Oh, I guess I should mention I’m late just about every day. Not too much, more than five minutes, less than ten. But nevertheless, as the definition of late goes, I am definitely late. But today, I shouldn’t have been.

Usually when I’m late, I don’t care. Nobody in a position of power at my job seems to, either, so there that is. So, if I don’t care, and they don’t care, I might as well be late.

But today, for whatever reason, I left my abode early enough so that I should not have been late.

I have a 20+ mile drive to work. I do take a major highway, but I do not go toward a major metropolitan area. It takes me anywhere from 25-40 minutes, depending on volume, etc.

Today, the road started backing up about 2/3 into my a.m. exodus. As I said, I am going away from a city area, so usually the traffic thins out at this stage of my trip. So, naturally, I assume there is an accident. Which is fine. They happen, but with me being so close to work now, and flirting with not being late, I was getting kinda bummed with how traffic was moving.

When you’re the “late guy” in the office, whenever you’re not late, everybody gives you that look of “Wow, I can’t believe you’re here this early,” or they might say, “Wow, I can’t believe you’re here this early.”

Now, as the late-goer, I have to admit, those looks and those comments give you a sense of accomplishment, and is about the only time I feel that when I’m at my job. This is why so many people are late for work across the country. Being early once a month is the only time they get that, “I did something worthwhile at my job today” feeling. Sad, isn’t it?

So, looking forward to that feeling and being thwarted by traffic, I was extremely disappointed when I found out what was causing the delay. And when I say disappointed, I mean fucking LIVID.

In the left lane of this three-lane highway, there is a large truck going about 3 miles per hour. On it, clear as day, a huge lighted arrow pointing to the right, indicating that the motorists in the left lane should merge.

I know, you’re thinking, it’s a construction vehicle, what’s the big deal? Indeed, I said the same thing… until I drove past the truck and saw the “construction” it was warning us away from:



A Mexican riding a lawnmower.



Hugs and handjobs,

-JQ

www.thewaitstaff.com