Friday, December 08, 2006

More F*cking Unicorns?!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the Internet... click two more pages to the right, and we're back in the Unicorn section again.

I had no idea unicorns had garnered such a large share of the toy market.

Today we have this abomination: The Cold War Unicorns Play Set.

The Cold War Unicorns play set can help you relive the good old days when the bad guys wore red, and the good guys wore red, white, and blue. Recreate the cold war in your living room as the "commie" unicorn and the "freedom" unicorn battle each other for global domination. Each superpower unicorn stands 3-3/4" tall. Great gift for the politically nostalgic. IBM missiles sold seperately.

Seems marketed rather one-sidedly towards the good ol' U.S. of A.

Wonder if there’s a Russian site selling this, describing the red unicorn as “mighty and just” and the red, white, and blue unicorn as “puny and meddling”. Hmmm…

Oh, and I love the joke about the missiles. That was brilliant! (Ahhh, sarcasm, my only true friend.)

But they spelled ‘separately’ wrong, and friends, that is no laughing matter.

Nor is the fact that you’re making a political statement in the form of UNICORNS!

That, in my humble - but egotistical - opinion, is… dumb. Dumb with a side of retard sauce. (Served with potatoes au gratin. Yum!)

I need also mention that this unicorn gift and the one mentioned in my last post are available on a website billing its merchandise as “Smart Gifts for Intelligent People.”

To me, it reads, “Smart-ass Gifts for People who Think They’re Intelligent.”

Of course, then I saw this:

... and thought it was funny.

Guess I’m an Intelligent Smart-Ass.

And so, here’s wishing you all a happy commercial holiday season.

F*ckin' Commies.

Hugs and Handjobs,


Special thanks to CPW, an expert in all things plastic and horny. (Meaning toy Unicorns… what?)


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