Wednesday, November 01, 2006

How to Make a Good Impression

As many people know, I just do this sketch comedy thing to make ends meet. It’s a stop gap until I can earn a living at my true calling, receptioning. That’s right, it’s my dream to be a professional receptionist. I’m getting there. I have a job answering phones at a small copying firm. It’s everything I ever hoped it would be, but I know someday I’ll make it to the big time.

One of the neat things about being a receptionist is that I get to meet all the people who come in to apply for jobs. I have the power to nix an applicant before they even get an interview. A smart applicant knows that making a good impression with the receptionist is the first step in landing a new job.

After 5 1/2 months at my dream job I’ve seen some mistakes at making a good impression. I’m sharing with you what I’ve learned so that you won’t make the same mistake.

1.) Learn how to operate a door. Yes, technology can be scary, but doors are almost everywhere now and most employers expect employees to be able to, at a minimum, open and shut them. Take some time to familiarize yourself with these modern day marvels. People will notice.

2.) Bathe. Now I know that not everyone needs to shower every day and deodorant is forced on us by big conglomerates as just another way to get money from us. I respect people who say, “A human smell is not a bad smell. Down with the Man.” But your funk should not linger in a room 20 minutes after you’ve left.

3.) Go to a bar to pick up women, not a job interview. Don’t refer to the receptionist (me) as “Baby” and under no circumstances should you say to the receptionist (again, me) “You better not be playing with me, ‘cause you know I like the BIG girls” even if it is meant as a compliment. (The only way that sentence would make me feel good is if Tom Welling said it.)

If you take the advice of a professional receptionist, you’re sure to land your very own dream job.



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